Julia
"Julia, why don‘t you talk to us anymore?"
You’re just so busy nowadays…
"Julia, I want to see that council report on my desk first thing tomorrow you hear?"
You used to be so responsible…
"Why didn’t you turn up for training yesterday Julia?"
You’re a leader. You need to set an example…
"If you fail one more test I’m going to call your parents!"
WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU JULIA?
I know I can do it. I just have to try harder. All I need to do is try harder. I just need to get a few more hours of rest, then I’ll be able to focus more… I haven’t been sleeping these last few nights. There was the council report due and then there was the huge Maths test I needed to study for and then there was the training schedule I needed to prepare. Oh no! There’s a Chinese test tomorrow. I’d better study. Sleep can wait. Study. I need to study.
"Julia? Come here for a second. Yes, there is something I want to speak to you about. You failed your Chinese test. Would you care to explain why? No, that’s not an excuse. You should learn how to manage your time. If you don’t start improving, you’re not going to pass your o’levels. What? You’ve got an urgent council meeting? Well, fine then, you’d better go."
"Why are you late Julia? When I say two o’clock I mean two o’clock! There’s a student council meeting with Katong Secondary on Saturday at three o‘clock. You need to be there. What? You’ve got a test you need to study for? You should have managed your time more carefully then. You are the Head of the Student Council! If the others can make it why can’t you? What kind of an example are you showing to your fellow councilors? Yes, you’d better. And where’s that proposal on the council investiture? I thought I told you I wanted to see it today? Really Julia, you should be more responsible!"
Oh God, I’m just so tired. I've tried, god knows I've tried. No one knows how much life is sucked out me every day. No one knows my troubles, my sorrows, my loneliness. No one knows. No one knows how hard I've tried to succeed and how hard I've tried to make my parents proud. I’m trying, God knows how hard I’m trying, why can’t they understand how I feel? I try and do what everyone wants, but I just can’t! They all want me to do everything all at the same time! My teachers tell me to be more responsible, to know my priorities, to manage my time more carefully, and I’m trying. Really. Can’t they see? I just need more time. Please give me more time. Please.
"Didn’t I say that if you failed your test I’d call your parents? Did you study? NO! I don’t want to hear your excuses! I’m going to call your parents. NO! I gave you more than enough time! Your parents will be hearing from me!"
Why can’t they understand that I need more time? I really am trying! I don’t watch TV, I don’t sleep, I skip my meals, just so I can finish reports and do my homework! Can’t they see that I’m trying? Please! Just give me more time! PLEASE! Don’t do this to me!
"Julia, what’s this I hear about you failing your Maths? Have you been studying? YOU HAVE? Don’t lie to me! You lazy thing! From now on you come straight home you hear? What? Meeting now? NO! You stay here and NO USING THE PHONE!"
Oh God, please help me! Why is this happening to me? Stop it! JUST STOP!
"Why weren’t you at the meeting! I told you it was a very important meeting and yet you didn’t turn up! Julia, what’s happening to you! You used to be so responsible and now you can’t even do a simple thing like turn up for a meeting! You didn’t even call to inform me you wouldn’t be attending! NO! I don’t want to hear your excuses! I’m sorry Julia, but if this continues anymore, I am going to have to remove your post…"
No.. please DON’T! DON’T SAY IT! STOP!
"THAT’S IT JULIA, I’M SENDING YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HOLD YOUR CAPTAIN POST ANYMORE!"
SHUT UP!!
The wind howled and the sky darkened as a group of people gathered around in their suits of black and grey.
"Why do you think she did it?"
"I don’t know, she had been doing poorly at school."
"Maybe it was the stress. But she should have talked to someone! She saw me every other day for council work, couldn’t she have talked to me?"
"She could have just asked me to give her more time for her work. I would have understood."
"I didn’t want to do it, but I had to remove her from her post! She just wasn’t putting in enough effort!"
There was no church mass, no procession, no roses adorning the plain wooden coffin. No picture even. A quiet affair that would be forgotten once morning came. In fact, her parents were already jetting off to a meeting in Bangkok. If only she’d tried harder. If only she’d been the daughter they’d wanted her to be. If only she’d been the student that everyone adored. If only she’d just tried harder.
Maybe she’d still be alive.
You’re just so busy nowadays…
"Julia, I want to see that council report on my desk first thing tomorrow you hear?"
You used to be so responsible…
"Why didn’t you turn up for training yesterday Julia?"
You’re a leader. You need to set an example…
"If you fail one more test I’m going to call your parents!"
WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU JULIA?
I know I can do it. I just have to try harder. All I need to do is try harder. I just need to get a few more hours of rest, then I’ll be able to focus more… I haven’t been sleeping these last few nights. There was the council report due and then there was the huge Maths test I needed to study for and then there was the training schedule I needed to prepare. Oh no! There’s a Chinese test tomorrow. I’d better study. Sleep can wait. Study. I need to study.
"Julia? Come here for a second. Yes, there is something I want to speak to you about. You failed your Chinese test. Would you care to explain why? No, that’s not an excuse. You should learn how to manage your time. If you don’t start improving, you’re not going to pass your o’levels. What? You’ve got an urgent council meeting? Well, fine then, you’d better go."
"Why are you late Julia? When I say two o’clock I mean two o’clock! There’s a student council meeting with Katong Secondary on Saturday at three o‘clock. You need to be there. What? You’ve got a test you need to study for? You should have managed your time more carefully then. You are the Head of the Student Council! If the others can make it why can’t you? What kind of an example are you showing to your fellow councilors? Yes, you’d better. And where’s that proposal on the council investiture? I thought I told you I wanted to see it today? Really Julia, you should be more responsible!"
Oh God, I’m just so tired. I've tried, god knows I've tried. No one knows how much life is sucked out me every day. No one knows my troubles, my sorrows, my loneliness. No one knows. No one knows how hard I've tried to succeed and how hard I've tried to make my parents proud. I’m trying, God knows how hard I’m trying, why can’t they understand how I feel? I try and do what everyone wants, but I just can’t! They all want me to do everything all at the same time! My teachers tell me to be more responsible, to know my priorities, to manage my time more carefully, and I’m trying. Really. Can’t they see? I just need more time. Please give me more time. Please.
"Didn’t I say that if you failed your test I’d call your parents? Did you study? NO! I don’t want to hear your excuses! I’m going to call your parents. NO! I gave you more than enough time! Your parents will be hearing from me!"
Why can’t they understand that I need more time? I really am trying! I don’t watch TV, I don’t sleep, I skip my meals, just so I can finish reports and do my homework! Can’t they see that I’m trying? Please! Just give me more time! PLEASE! Don’t do this to me!
"Julia, what’s this I hear about you failing your Maths? Have you been studying? YOU HAVE? Don’t lie to me! You lazy thing! From now on you come straight home you hear? What? Meeting now? NO! You stay here and NO USING THE PHONE!"
Oh God, please help me! Why is this happening to me? Stop it! JUST STOP!
"Why weren’t you at the meeting! I told you it was a very important meeting and yet you didn’t turn up! Julia, what’s happening to you! You used to be so responsible and now you can’t even do a simple thing like turn up for a meeting! You didn’t even call to inform me you wouldn’t be attending! NO! I don’t want to hear your excuses! I’m sorry Julia, but if this continues anymore, I am going to have to remove your post…"
No.. please DON’T! DON’T SAY IT! STOP!
"THAT’S IT JULIA, I’M SENDING YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HOLD YOUR CAPTAIN POST ANYMORE!"
SHUT UP!!
The wind howled and the sky darkened as a group of people gathered around in their suits of black and grey.
"Why do you think she did it?"
"I don’t know, she had been doing poorly at school."
"Maybe it was the stress. But she should have talked to someone! She saw me every other day for council work, couldn’t she have talked to me?"
"She could have just asked me to give her more time for her work. I would have understood."
"I didn’t want to do it, but I had to remove her from her post! She just wasn’t putting in enough effort!"
There was no church mass, no procession, no roses adorning the plain wooden coffin. No picture even. A quiet affair that would be forgotten once morning came. In fact, her parents were already jetting off to a meeting in Bangkok. If only she’d tried harder. If only she’d been the daughter they’d wanted her to be. If only she’d been the student that everyone adored. If only she’d just tried harder.
Maybe she’d still be alive.
posted by teri at 10:45 PM
2 Comments:
Good stuff. I can really sense the work piling up in the first bit. I think though, that your ending could use some refinement. If a) you want it to be a shock that she committed suicide, then you'll have to be more subtle about hinting. It IS quite obvious. If b) you wanted it to be obvious but poignant, then it needs to be more poignant. Do away with the ending line and replace with something cheesier and more likely to induce people to cry. Maybe elaborate in the same vein how her parents' expectations of her were as unreasonable as the demands on her time. Keep at it, though!
Overall though, I think I really can feel for the injustice that you're trying to bring out. Maybe you want to elaborate more on it, give the story a little more depth. In terms of emotive quality though, it's there.
Cheers!
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