Chapter 1 - Sisterly love
Dear Pauline,
Yes, I admit, I am naive, I am foolish and I am too simple to understand how this world works. But surely, even with what little worldy knowledge I possess, THIS could not happen? Surely this ISN'T supposed to happen? Surely brothers are not supposed to kiss their sisters in such a fashion?
And oh how distressing it is to the poor heart. From what little I have read - from the books I've stolen from Father's library - brothers do not kiss their sisters in this fashion. Perhaps on the cheek, and sometimes on the forehead. But never has a kiss on the lips from a brother been called natural. It is something they call a 'perversion'.
And yet. And yet my dearest diary, even with the disgust I feel towards my brother, I am ashamed to admit that the kiss left me breathless and tingling with anticipation. For never has such a man held me with such love and care as he did. Of course on the odd occassion, Father has embraced me, but even that was stiff and guarded. This... this was different, it was... warm and full of love.
Oh Pauline, I am in bits! I must truly be dull and unintelligent, for surely a woman of the world would know how to react to something of such a nature! Surely, there must be something that I must do! But, I am confused. I feel like all the lights in the world have been snuffed out and that I am drowning in darkness! Oh Pauline! what must I do now?
I hear a knock. Oh dear Lord. Please do not let it be Mother. I cannot bear to look at her tonight, for I swear, she will see something in my eyes that will tell of this 'perversion'. Her eyes are sharper than an eagle's and even when I am lying at my best, she can tell from a mile away. Oh Lord the knocks are getting louder. I cannot pretend to ignore it now. Pray with me Pauline. Pray with me.
Yes, I admit, I am naive, I am foolish and I am too simple to understand how this world works. But surely, even with what little worldy knowledge I possess, THIS could not happen? Surely this ISN'T supposed to happen? Surely brothers are not supposed to kiss their sisters in such a fashion?
And oh how distressing it is to the poor heart. From what little I have read - from the books I've stolen from Father's library - brothers do not kiss their sisters in this fashion. Perhaps on the cheek, and sometimes on the forehead. But never has a kiss on the lips from a brother been called natural. It is something they call a 'perversion'.
And yet. And yet my dearest diary, even with the disgust I feel towards my brother, I am ashamed to admit that the kiss left me breathless and tingling with anticipation. For never has such a man held me with such love and care as he did. Of course on the odd occassion, Father has embraced me, but even that was stiff and guarded. This... this was different, it was... warm and full of love.
Oh Pauline, I am in bits! I must truly be dull and unintelligent, for surely a woman of the world would know how to react to something of such a nature! Surely, there must be something that I must do! But, I am confused. I feel like all the lights in the world have been snuffed out and that I am drowning in darkness! Oh Pauline! what must I do now?
I hear a knock. Oh dear Lord. Please do not let it be Mother. I cannot bear to look at her tonight, for I swear, she will see something in my eyes that will tell of this 'perversion'. Her eyes are sharper than an eagle's and even when I am lying at my best, she can tell from a mile away. Oh Lord the knocks are getting louder. I cannot pretend to ignore it now. Pray with me Pauline. Pray with me.
posted by teri at 12:44 PM
2 Comments:
Wow. Brilliance, here... really captured the thoughts and fear in a way that comes naturally to the reader. Keep at it!
This blog is both compulsive and engaging. I will definately be checking back. Nice work!
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blog.UberDragon.net
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